Quotes from actual patients

From our MRI section:

"Now I'm claustrophobic and I don't want to take anything because I have to drive. So you'll have to talk me through this and it will probably take a while."

"I'm exceptionally sensitive."

I've got to hand it to our MRI folks, they can keep a straight face through all this. I just don't have that kind of patience. Many people are scheduled in a day for an MRI and either you can or you can't do it. If you're not going to take any kind of sedative then suck it up, every procedure has a certain amount of time allotted. If you insist on taking your time or want to be "talked through" and your procedure has taken more than your allotted amount of time, you have stolen time from another patient.

From our CT section:

"I don't take off my pants"

The tech said fine and took the patient for his exam. Now I assure you we don't have our patients running around naked and this patient was offered a pair of scrub pants so he would be fully covered. If I were the tech I would have told this patient fine and that he was free to go and that we were unable to do the exam due to the zipper and buttons causing artifact on the images. We are not Burger King and you don't get it your way.

And of course from our Mammo section:

"Do I need to take off my pants?"

A mammogram is for your breast, unless you have a breast attached to your knee you can keep your pants on.

The other day I had a patient call to let me know she was running about 10 minutes late 5 minutes after her scheduled time. She arrived to the clinic 30 minutes after her appointed time. In the mean time patients that where scheduled after her were arriving early or on time and I took them in before her trying to get ahead of my schedule to work in the late patient. I was able to take back the late patient 52 minutes after she got to the clinic. When I called her she had the audacity to say, "finally." She did not apologize for being late or thank me for working her back in, nothing. This false sense of entitlement some people have just floors me sometimes. The only thing we're entitled to is eternity in heaven or in hell.